Elsie+locke+2011

__Wednesday 8th June__

I was only 7 when i went on my first plane ride. It was a 12 hour flight to england from australia. “ Harry up dad or we will be late for our flight” I kept yelling “ ok dear” dad would say back.

At the airport I was jumping up and down, side to side. “ stop jumping ” mum would say. But she died last year of cancer. Instead dad would say “calm down Ava ”. by the time I had finished jumping we were boarding the plane. My mouth wide open looking all over the plane saying to my self “ WOW”

__Thusday 2nd June 2011__

__//Lost and Alone//__

Characters: Ally family

Three years ago in London, was a little girl named Ally who was 11 flying to the U.S.A for a family trip. “ I don’t wont to stay home and” said Ally just before her dad cut in and said to her “ If you come I will let you carry all the money.” “ok” she said to her farther. Then they were in the car on their way to the airport. 2 hours later they were at the airport, at the last minute Ally’s parents had to go the bathroom 15 minutes went by and finally her parents came out to find their daughter had followed a different family from the bathroom. Ally kept following the family till she got to the plane. The plane landed 3 hours later in Africa, when Ally got off the plane she noticed the wasn’t in the U.S.A she was in Cape Town in stead.

Ally picked up her bags, walk into the city and booked into the first hotel Ally could see with her dads credit cards.Ten minutes later Ally found a hotel. After Ally had booked a room, she went up to her suite and found that she had booked the fanciest suite that money could buy. Ally just stood there staring into space wondering she had done the right thing by going to a hotel, instead of getting back on a plane and fly to where her family was.Ally unpacked her bags and ready to go back into town.

In town were lots of little boutiques of high fashion clothes, on every road she went down. She went into every clothes store and every sopping mall she could see and buy anything that she liked. After half an hour Ally had so many shopping bags that she could hardly carry them all. When she had finished shopping, she went back to the hotel. It took her a while to get back to the hotel with all those shopping bags. When she had finally got bake to her suite she unpacked the shopping bags, and Ally nearly had to buy a new suitcase to fit all her new clothes in.

Mean wile her family who landed 1hour before her in the U.S.A, where looking all around the airport for there lost girl, high and low they looked. But they never thought that she had followed a different family, on to a different plane and to a different country.

In Africa it was getting late. Ally ordered room service at about nine o’clock for dinner, she had some very well cooked steak.After Ally had finished her dinner, she turned on the T.V and watched it for two hours before she went to bed, it was midnight by the time ally went to bed. Early the next morning Ally woke, to the sound of birds flying past her window. Ally hooped out of bed, got dressed and ordered breakfast.

After Ally had finished her breakfast she went down to the lobby of the hotel. To ask the manager what there is to do here since she has all ready done shopping for the first day she was in Africa. The manager said “ well my dear you can go down to the Zoo, which is a ten minute walk from here or, you can go to the Aquarium which is a five minute walk from here.” “well thank you for your time and help.” Ally said.

Ally thought for a minute and decided the she was going to the aquarium since it was the shortest distance from the hotel and go to the zoo tomorrow. Just before Ally went to aquarium she went up to her room to get ready for her day out. Ally arrived at the aquarium at morning tea time so she had the whole day there.

At the aquarium Ally had to pay the entry fee of $20 to get in, by the time she was in the aquarium was full

__Monday 30th May 2011__

__//Lost and Alone//__

Characters: Ally family

Three years ago in London, was a little girl named Ally who was 11 flying to the U.S.A for a family trip. “ I don’t wont to stay home and” said Ally just before her dad cut in and said to her “ If you come I will let you carry all the money.” “ok” she said to her farther. Then they were in the car on their way to the airport. 2 hours later they were at the airport, at the last minute Ally’s parents had to go the bathroom 15 minutes went by and finally her parents came out to find their daughter had followed a different family from the bathroom. Ally kept following the family till she got to the plane. The plane landed 3 hours later in Africa, when Ally got off the plane she noticed the wasn’t in the U.S.A she was in Cape Town in stead.

Ally picked up her bags, walk into the city and booked into the first hotel Ally could see with her dads credit cards.Ten minutes later Ally found a hotel. After Ally had booked a room, she went up to her suite and found that she had booked the fanciest suite that money could buy. Ally just stood there staring into space wondering she had done the right thing by going to a hotel, instead of getting back on a plane and fly to where her family was.Ally unpacked her bags and ready to go back into town.

In town were lots of little boutiques of high fashion clothes, on every road she went down. She went into every clothes store and every sopping mall she could see and buy anything that she liked. After half an hour Ally had so many shopping bags that she could hardly carry them all. When she had finished shopping, she went back to the hotel. It took her a while to get back to the hotel with all those shopping bags. When she had finally got bake to her suite she unpacked the shopping bags, and Ally nearly had to buy a new suitcase to fit all her new clothes in.

Mean wile her family who landed 1hour before her in the U.S.A, where looking all around the airport for there lost girl, high and low they looked. But they never thought that she had followed a different family, on to a different plane and to a different country.

In Africa it was getting late. Ally ordered room service at about nine o’clock for dinner, she had some very well cooked steak.After Ally had finished her dinner, she turned on the T.V and watched it for two hours before she went to bed, it was midnight by the time ally went to bed. Early the next morning Ally woke, to the sound of birds flying past her window. Ally hooped out of bed, got dressed and ordered breakfast.

After Ally had finished her breakfast she went down to the lobby of the hotel. To ask the manager what there is to do here since she has all ready done shopping for the first day she was in Africa. The manager said “ well my dear you can go down to the Zoo, which is a ten minute walk from here or, you can go to the Aquarium which is a five minute walk from here.” “well thank you for your time and help.” Ally said.

Ally thought for a minute and decided the she was going to the aquarium since it was the shortest distance from the hotel and go to the zoo tomorrow. Just before Ally went to aquarium she went up to her room to get ready for her day out.

__Friday 27th May 2011__

__//Lost and Alone//__

Characters:

Ally

family

Three years ago in London, was a little girl named Ally who was 11 flying to the U.S.A for a family trip. “ I don’t wont to stay home and” said Ally just before her dad cut in and said to her “ If you come I will let you carry all the money.” “ok” she said to her farther. Then they were in the car on their way to the airport. 2 hours later they were at the airport, at the last minute Ally’s parents had to go the bathroom 15 minutes went by and finally her parents came out to find their daughter had followed a different family from the bathroom. Ally kept following the family till she got to the plane. The plane landed 3 hours later in Africa, when Ally got off the plane she noticed the wasn’t in the U.S.A she was in Cape Town in stead.

Ally picked up her bags, walk into the city and booked into the first hotel Ally could see with her dads credit cards.Ten minutes later Ally found a hotel. After Ally had booked a room, she went up to her suite and found that she had booked the fanciest suite that money could buy. Ally just stood there staring into space wondering she had done the right thing by going to a hotel, instead of getting back on a plane and fly to where her family was.Ally unpacked her bags and ready to go back into town.

In town were lots of little boutiques of high fashion clothes, on every road she went down. She went into every clothes store and every sopping mall she could see and buy anything that she liked. After half an hour Ally had so many shopping bags that she could hardly carry them all. When she had finished shopping, she went back to the hotel. It took her a while to get back to the hotel with all those shopping bags. When she had finally got bake to her suite she unpacked the shopping bags, and Ally nearly had to buy a new suitcase to fit all her new clothes in.

Mean wile her family who landed 1hour before her in the U.S.A, where looking all around the airport for there lost girl, high and low they looked. But they never thought that she had followed a different family, on to a different plane and to a different country.

In Africa it was getting late. Ally ordered room service at about nine o’clock for dinner, she had some very well cooked steak.After Ally had finished her dinner, she turned on the T.V and watched it for two hours before she went to bed, it was midnight by the time ally went to bed. Early the next morning Ally woke, to the sound of birds flying past her window. Ally hooped out of bed, got dressed and ordered breakfast.

After Ally had finished her breakfast she went down to the lobby of the hotel

__Thursday 26th May 2011__

__//Lost and Alone//__

Characters: Ally family

Three years ago in London, was a little girl named Ally who was 11 flying to the U.S.A for a family trip. “ I don’t wont to stay home and” said Ally just before her dad cut in and said to her “ If you come I will let you carry all the money.” “ok” she said to her farther. Then they were in the car on their way to the airport. 2 hours later they were at the airport, at the last minute Ally’s parents had to go the bathroom 15 minutes went by and finally her parents came out to find their daughter had followed a different family from the bathroom. Ally kept following the family till she got to the plane. The plane landed 3 hours later in Africa, when Ally got off the plane she noticed the wasn’t in the U.S.A she was in Cape Town in stead.

Ally picked up her bags, walk into the city and booked into the first hotel Ally could see with her dads credit cards.Ten minutes later Ally found a hotel. After Ally had booked a room, she went up to her suite and found that she had booked the fanciest suite that money could buy. Ally just stood there staring into space wondering she had done the right thing by going to a hotel, instead of getting back on a plane and fly to where her family was.Ally unpacked her bags and ready to go back into town.

In town were lots of little boutiques of high fashion clothes, on every road she went down. She went into every clothes store and every sopping mall she could see and buy anything that she liked. After half an hour Ally had so many shopping bags that she could hardly carry them all. When she had finished shopping, she went back to the hotel. It took her a while to get back to the hotel with all those shopping bags. When she had finally got bake to her suite she unpacked the shopping bags, and Ally nearly had to buy a new suitcase.

Mean wile her family in the U.S.A where looking all around the airport for there lost girl, high and low. But they never thought that she had followed a different family on to a different plane to a different country.

__Monday 23th May 2011__

__//Lost and Alone//__

Characters:

Ally

family

Three years ago in London, was a little girl named Ally who was 11 flying to the U.S.A for a family trip. “ I don’t wont to stay home and” said Ally just before her dad cut in and said to her “ If you come I will let you carry all the money.” “ok” she said to her farther. Then they were in the car on their way to the airport. 2 hours later they were at the airport, at the last minute Ally’s parents had to go the bathroom 15 minutes went by and finally her parents came out to find their daughter had followed a different family from the bathroom. Ally kept following the family till she got to the plane. The plane landed 3 hours later in Africa, when Ally got off the plane she noticed the wasn’t in the U.S.A she was in Cape Town in stead.

Ally picked up her bags, walk into the city and booked into the first hotel Ally could see with her dads credit cards.Ten minutes later Ally found a hotel, after Ally had booked a room, she went up to her room and found that she had booked the fanciest suite that money could buy. Ally just stood there staring into space wondering she had done the right thing by going to a hotel, instead of getting back on a plane and fly to where her family was.

In town were lots of little boutiques of high fashion clothes on every road she went down. She went into every shop she could see and buy anything that she liked. When she had finished shopping, she went back to the hotel. unpacked her shopping bags and ordered room service.

Mean wile her family in the U.S.A where looking all around the airport for there lost girl, high and low. But they never thought that she had followed a different family on to a different plane to an different country.

__Friday 20th May 2011__

Characters: Ally family

3 years ago in London, was a little girl named Ally who was 11 flying to the U.S.A for a family trip. “ I don’t wont to stay home and” said Ally just before her dad cut in and said to her “ If you come I will let you carry all the money.” “ok” she said to her farther. Then they were in the car on their way to the airport. 2 hours later they were at the airport, at the last minute Ally’s parents had to go the bathroom 15 minutes went by and finally her perents came out to. The plane landed 3 hours later and found that the family she followed was not her family and she had 3 weeks in Africa.

 ...

When Ally got to Africa she got off the plane and booked into the first hotel Ally could see with her dads credit cards.Ally went up to her room, she found out she had booked the fanciest suite that money could buy. Ally just stood there staring into In town were lots of little boutiques of high fashion clothes on every road she went down. She went into every shop she could see and buy anything that she liked. When she had finished shopping, she went back to the hotel. unpacked her shopping bags and ordered room service.

Mean wile her family in the U.S.A where looking all around the airport for there lost girl, high and low. But they never thought that she had followed a different family on to a different plane to an different country.

__Wednesday 18 May 2011__

Characters: little girl family

o nce there was a little girl who was 11 going to the U.S.A for a family trip. When they were at the airport the girl lost her parents and followed some other people that looked like her family on to a plane that went to Africa. The plane landed 3 hours later and found that the family she followed was not her family and she had 3 weeks in Africa.

When she got to Africa she got off the plane and booked into the first hotel she could see with her dads credit card. when she went up to her room she found out she had booked the fanciest suite that money could buy. When she had unpacked all her belongings, she hit the town.

In town were lots of little boutiques of high fashion clothes on every road she went down. She went into every shop she could see and buy anything that she liked. When she had finished shopping, she went back to the hotel. unpacked her shopping bags and ordered room service.

Mean wile her family in the U.S.A where looking all around the airport for there lost girl, high and low. But they never thought that she had followed a different family on to a different plane to an different country.

<span style="color: #fd1212; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;">Great plot idea, Morgan. I really like how your character doesn't seem all that bothered about being lost. While her family sounds panicked. I can just imagine a girl walking down a street buying everything not even thinking that maybe the credit card might run out. You just need to do a bit of editing. Something I think you should work on is explaining things a bit more and slowing it down a bit because she has been moving around so fast. <span style="color: #fd1212; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;">- Maddie W

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">__Monday 16 may 2011__

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Characters: <span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">little girl <span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">follower

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Once there was a little girl who was 11 going to the U.S.A for a family trip. When they were at the airport the girl lost her parents and followed some other people that looked like her family on to a plane that went to Africa. The plane landed 3 hours later and found that the family she followed was not her family and she had 3 weeks in Africa.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">When she got to Africa she got off the plane and booked into the first hotel she could see with her dads credit card. when she went up to her room she found out she had booked the fanciest suite that money could buy. When she had unpacked all her belongings, she hit the town.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">In town were lots of little boutiques of high fashion clothes on every road she went down. But she didn’t realize that someone was following her. She went into every shop she could see and buy anything that she liked